Oh, Tony A Collection of Song Fics
by AmyH
Summary: This has now turned into a collecton of song fics. As the mood strikes, I may add to it. Unless stated, the chapters are not related. Please read the notes at the beginning of each chapter so you know what to expect, or if you want to read at all.
1. Oh, Tony

A/N: For those who don't know me, I have an _intense_ love of all things Steve Perry and Journey. On the way to work today I heard 'Oh, Sherrie" by Steve Perry twice and my 24 obsessed mind twisted the song – badly. So much so that I giggled all the way to work and for the first 30 minutes of the day until reality set in and I had to do my job properly. It was all I could do to finish the day and come home to spew forth the images in my twisted, mangled brain. And yes, this comes across as slashy.

With apologies to Steve Perry,…This is "Oh, Tony"

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_You should've been gone  
Knowing how I made you feel_

Tony couldn't imagine what Jack had gone through. He knew what he would have felt if Jack had suddenly died in his arms. The anguish of losing Michelle was more than enough to break him but if he had ever lost Jack, he would be completely shattered. How could he not be angry after finding out it was all a lie?

_And I should've been gone  
After all your words of steel_

Jack knew he should have just left after the phone call from Tony at Schector's place. He definitely should have let him rot in FBI custody after what he said about Teri, Kim and Audrey. He just couldn't leave him not knowing the truth, if there was still a chance.

_Oh I must've been a dreamer_

And he still was. Jack was a realist, but still held out hope for the best from those he loved. And he did love Tony. He still does love Tony. And his dream of Tony being alive somehow, some way, had come true.

_And I must've been someone else_

And he had become someone else. But Tony would give anything to put that person he had become after his "death" behind him, to kill that incarnation rather than the one who had died. The one who loved Jack. And still does love him.

_And we should've been over _

_CHORUS:  
Oh Tony, our love  
Holds on, holds on  
Oh Jack, our love  
Holds on, holds on _

_But I want to let go  
You'll go on hurtin' me_

Jack had been hurt too many times. Had lost love, had lost Tony. He didn't know if he could or wanted to hold on to him any longer. He was afraid to be hurt by him again, but more afraid of losing the second chance that had been given him.

_You'd be better off alone  
If I'm not who you thought I'd be _

Despite the "bad things" he had done, Tony knew he was championing the good once more. Would Jack see that? Would he realize that in spite of it all, he had come full circle and was once more the man he once cared for so deeply? If not, then Jack was better off to leave him again. Tony was willing to give him up, to let him go if it was for the better. Even if his heart would be broken in the process.

_But you know that there's a fever  
Oh that you'll never find nowhere else  
Can't you feel it burnin' on and on _

They both knew that without one another, they were half of who they should be. When they were together, they were electric. The passion they both held for each other burned so brightly that it was a wonder they didn't ignite themselves and everything around them from the sparks they gave off. And when they touched, the heat melded them into one another and they were one.

_CHORUS _

_But I should've been gone  
Long ago, far away_

Tony should have been dead years ago and he knew it. He should have never been granted this stay of execution but thanked God he was allowed one more chance to be by the side of his one true love; to let him know that he was not alone in this world

_And you should've been gone  
Now I know just why you stay _

Jack should have stayed "dead" after the Chinese Consulate raid. Tony knew it would have saved him from the heartbreaks he endured after being "resurrected". But just as Jack had risen from the "dead" to save the ones he loved who survived that horrible day, Tony had also risen from the "dead" to save Jack. He now had a better understanding of what motivated Jack. It was one of the purest forms of love imaginable.

_CHORUS _

_Oh Tony, our love  
Holds on, holds on _

Jack will never give up. Not on love.


	2. Where Angels Sing

A/N: If you have not watched through S07/E16, I suggest you not read any further. Having said that, this is my take on things, though I know it's out of the realm of possibility, therefore make this an 'AU' fic? I'm just so sad about it all; I had to get it out. It's also a song fic, which I know probably turns some people off right away. So, you have been warned, song fic, au fic, generally totally out of character and miserable. But, so have I been since Monday night. The song I have tortured this time is Meatloaf's "Where Angels Sing". I apologize to Meatloaf and Jim Steinham who writes incredible lyrics. I hope you don't mind me twisting your words into this:

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_Meet me downtown on the corner  
I'll be waiting in a big yellow cab_

I met you here once, just hours ago as you requested. I know you will do the same for me. It's time to say goodbye.

_  
Don't bring a suitcase  
You won't need a thing_

Just that one kit I've asked you to bring otherwise the tactical and communications packages are not going to be needed now. It's over. The battle has been won, though the war will never be over. It's just my time to stop fighting. Let the younger generation take over now. At some point, we have to trust them. It's their battle now and best of luck to them.

_There'll be no worries  
Where Angels sing_

Please don't be apprehensive. This day was always going to come. We may have never known how or when, but it has finally arrived and we need to embrace it as we have done everything else in our lives.

_  
I got my ticket in my hand  
Oh the price is paid in full_

Ironic, isn't it? Even as I was on trial for the atrocities I may have committed on behalf of those who were unable to defend themselves, I have been convicted and sentenced. I guess we can call it even now.

_  
No man can stop me  
Their words won't sting you_

I was determined and damned near unstoppable when it came to what I knew was right, even if you and everyone else thought I was wrong. I did things that I knew had to be done, as distasteful as they may have been to the general population, and even to you. They had to be done as no other option ever presented itself in time. You know this better than anyone does, or ever will.

No matter what they may say, you know. In your heart, you know. They can't hurt you as long as you have the courage of your convictions. Please don't let them hurt you. Never give up on yourself.

_  
No dreams will haunt you  
Where Angels sing_

This is not your fault. I can see where you may start to think it is, but it's not. You did not do this. No matter what you did while you were away, you did not do this. If anything, you did everything in your power to prevent it. For that, I thank you. The gratitude of every American should be yours.

_  
I get so weary  
On this troubled road_

I am so tired of it all. I am tired of being called on to rectify those things that cannot be rectified; called upon to do the impossible when no one else can or will even _try_. For that, I get what? A trial to call in question every decision I made against my conscious but made for the greater good of everyone. But when you could be, you were by my side and for that, I will be forever grateful.

_  
Unlock these chains  
And gently rock me home_

_Beyond the clouds and the rain  
Where Angels sing  
Where Angels sing_

I need you to do what I asked of you. It's time and I am ready. I am placing my trust in you. There is no one I trust more than you, Tony. I need you now more than I have ever needed anyone. Please don't betray that trust. I see you have brought what I asked. I give you my word that it will be okay in the end.

_  
Where lies can't hurt me  
The flesh desert me_

Everything is a lie in its own right. Everyone lies. You and I have lied on more than occasion for one reason or another. Even so, the truth remained the underlying reason for our lies to others and to each other.

My body is tired. It has endured more than any human body should have and still it's kept on living. Yet there are times I wished it would have given up, if only to put me out of the misery that tortures my mind.

_  
No in or out  
No loss or doubt_

Has anyone the right to speak to me of loss? Wasn't Teri enough? Kim? Did I have to experience the loss of Ryan by my own hand? Curtis? And yes, you, Tony. I lost you too. You died in my arms that day. Your physical resurrection is nothing more than miraculous. But are you truly the man you were? The one I lost so many years ago? Does anyone dare speak to me of loss?

You have no idea how many times I have doubted myself these past years. You have NO CLUE! Who in their right mind has done the things I have in the name of freedom? I have had my doubts but ultimately I did what I felt needed to be done. And for that, I have no regrets.

_  
No living with or doing without  
Where money ain't the power king_

Those poor children in Sangala and across the world where those in power can dictate their well being. My heart hurts for each and every one of them. Bless those who care enough to worry and try to help them. I have tried to make the world safe for them.

_  
And kindness is the most precious thing  
Where Angels sing  
Oh, where Angels sing_

I am not a religious man, but I am a hopeful man. Though there is no hope left for me, I still hold hope for Kim, Chloe, Morris, and you, Tony. I hope for you all. Be kind to one another, it's all that truly matters.

_  
Where time means nothing  
No hustle_

_No one rushing  
_

I have finally run out of time. It makes me smile. It's good to know one's limits. There will always be something that needs to be done sooner than later. My life has played out in such a rush, I don't know that I remembered to breathe and take it all in. Don't let that happen to you. Make damned sure it doesn't happen to Kim. The little things make life enjoyable. Those few memories comfort me now.

_No dark of night  
No hate or spite_

We've fought against this most of our lives, the hate. The hate of a few that would hurt thousands, if not millions. Soon, it will no longer hurt me either.

_  
No wrong or right_

_No day or night_

I still believe things I did were right, even though they were wrong. They were the only way I could see for good to prevail. Given a choice to go back and change things, I would only change that these things had to be done at all.

_  
No towns or no cities  
There's no pain, no pity_

You didn't see the way the CDC people looked at me, Tony. The way Renee looked at me. These scars are for them, for her, for you, for everyone. The memory of that pain is locked away. Even though it's is a relief, this hurts me more because you are hurting. I can see it in your eyes, the way you've set your jaw. Don't let it be this way. Celebrate my freedom.

_  
Where hunger is no longer  
And a good man just gets stronger_

I'm so sorry, Jack. You don't deserve this. You are a good man. The best I have ever known, or will ever know. This country owes you everything. I owe you everything. Soon, you will be as strong as you've ever been. I have faith if only because I cannot believe this is the end for you.

_Where Angels sing_

I don't know how to do this, Jack. I don't know if I can.

_  
Where Angels sing_

You can and you have to, Tony. Please. I need your help. I can't let anyone watch me go like this, the way this virus takes lives. I have earned this, Tony. Help me preserve what is left of my dignity on this final day.

_Where Angels sing_

Tie the tourniquet tighter. Now fill the syringe. Use it all. I promise this will be painless for me, though I can't say the same for you and for that, I am so sorry. I am grateful you are here. Thank you for being my friend, Tony.

_  
Where Angels sing_

No, Jack. Thank you. Thank you for my freedom, my future. It wouldn't have happened without you. I owe you more than can ever be repaid.

_  
Where Angels sing_

It's time now Tony. Please. I've waited long enough. We've said all that needs to be said.

Tony looked into his eyes one last time. The fire that once burned in them was gone. Pain had dulled them, clouded them over as a morning fog hides the mighty mountain. His eyes brimming with tears, he inserted the needle and depressed the plunger in one swift movement.

Quickly undoing the tourniquet, he pulled Jack into his arms and held him close. He heard him gasp and the drug flowed through his veins. It took only seconds and he felt Jack relax, a peaceful look finally settling over his features. As the tears spilled down his own face, he whispered "I love you."


End file.
